My Big Mouth does it again!    

Friday night my wife Jennae and I met up with Tommy and Lumpy and his girlfriend to do our lake tour.  It was a beautiful night and things were going swimmingly as we met at Nola’s in Charlotte.  Tommy and I were laughing at each other, at people we saw, even at and with Dave Kane, who showed up with his beautiful wife Carol.  Then it was off to Marge’s – ONE OF MY FAVORITE SPOTS ON THE LAKE! 

Jennae and I arrived first because of a fire that had traffic re-routed.  As we walked in, Large Marge, the owner and a very lovely woman, was checking ID’s. I am 36 years –old and as I delicately placed my I.D. in Marge’s large over sized oven-mitt of a hand, she asked “Are you over 21?”  I responded “DAMN RIGHT!”  She shot back an angry gaze and growled ‘EXCUSE ME?!”  I whimpered – “Yes, mam!” and started to nervously giggle. 

We meandered through the lively crowd with a couple of cocktails in hand out to the beach.  The weather was perfect, the vibe was great and my mouth was just warming up!  Some other people who are employed by the same fine company we are, Entercom, but who are personalities at other radio stations, were there and they sheepishly came over to converse, more out of obligation than anything.  One of these people was with a larger group who I saw moving through the crowd some 20 feet away.  I said “Hey, isn’t that the chick who…”I’ll pause there and make up a hypothetical to make my point.  “Hey, isn’t that the guy who had his toe gnawed off by a dog?  Does he still work for us?”  The answer was yes that’s the guy and no he doesn’t work for the company anymore. I went on to talk about how his little toes must have looked like little snausages, remember snausages?  And then I started laughing.  The laughing got worse when the person from Entercom started to tell how horrible it was when the guy’s toes were munched and crunched.  All I could picture is this person running around with a little dog snacking on his fungus ridden toes and screaming like a little girl.  In my drunken state this picture was very funny to me and I said things like – “The cat’s got your tongue and the dog’s got your toes…”  If I were telling you the real story, but I am trying to protect the innocent, that line would be VERY funny.  Anyway, the person who works at another station for Entercom, looked at me like I was NUTS!  My wife was mortified!  And she did some damage control saying that I would be very upset if it had happened to her or my boys, to which I said, “Well, that all depends on the day.” My wife thinks we will never be invited anywhere because of my mouth and drunken stupid ness.  I’m not sure I care!  

I guess I should, but my goal was never to be liked by everyone.  There are people I don’t like and wouldn’t invite anywhere and I am sure there are many that feel the same about me.  Being normal and liked by everyone is BORING!  And according to Psychology Today, normal people who are liked by everyone are of average to below intelligence!  (Yes, I read Psychology Today and you will too if you see the cover of the August issue!)   

My point is your never going to please everyone and don’t let your wife try to make you.  She liked you (as Jennae liked me) for your nuttiness- it’s the uniqness that makes you!  Celebrate it and join the Break Room the next time we’re out and we can embarrass our wives together.

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